A View from the Bubble

Musings from outside the mainstream.

Controlling Pregnant New Wife

NEW HUSBAND IN WYOMING writes into DEAR ABBY saying that “things I thought I could tolerate before we were married” are really starting to bug him.  An example?  His wife has deleted pictures of his daughter from a previous relationship and won’t let him keep anything of hers.  To boot, his wife is one month pregnant and has been “extra emotional” about NEW HUSBAND leaving for work.

DEAR ABBY’s response is to seek medical help, which is obvious, the woman clearly needs help.  But once again, she fails the guy totally, focusing on getting the woman help, instead of giving him practical advice.

 ________________________________________

NEW HUSBAND, I hate to be the barer of bad news, but you are screwed.  You need help, advice and validation.  And you’re going to get it.  There is no excuse, NO EXCUSE, for your wife’s behavior.  And it surprises me that DEAR ABBY did not pick up on or address the fact that some these behaviors your wife is displaying in full force now, were evident prior to your marriage and ensuing pregnancy.

Your wife is displaying controlling and manipulative behaviors.  If you were a woman, DEAR ABBY would be recommending you to look for other housingcontrolling_woman and having an exit plan, such as cash on hand and a bag packed.  I strongly recommend that you develop an exit strategy of your own.

Don’t expose your daughter to this woman and don’t cut her out of your life.  Start separating assets now.  Do you have a safe place to store things?  Document everything your wife does.  Change the password on your email accounts and computer, or get a new one and don’t tell her about it.  She has NO RIGHT to delete photos of your daughter or tell you that you can’t keep anything of hers.

I would follow the other recommendations that DEAR ABBY suggests, such as seeing if your wife will visit with her doctors and address her emotional problems.  But be prepared for it not to make a difference.  Since you allude to behaviors that existed prior to marriage, I doubt this is about a hormonal imbalance brought on by pregnancy.  Even then, pregnancy is no excuse for the behaviors you are describing.

Do not let her bully you, and do not give up parental rights if that is important to you.  This is why you should document behaviors now.  Keep a journal or send yourself emails.  Maybe even chat with a lawyer.  I don’t envy the position that you’re in.  I don’t think waiting will help improve the situation.  Deal with it head on.  Now.  Good luck.

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This entry was posted on July 2, 2014 by in Advice and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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